Metal Themes

Metal Themes

These were created on the scream zone Feb 23 2010 during a discussion about different metal genres between norbi, unabated_viking, dward526, aamarques, and myself, Ace Frehley… I mean pat0621.
Dark Metal = black metal with training wheels (every third song is about rainbows and puppies)
Dark Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon
Black Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon - so I made raincoat out of the neighbor's skin
Death Metal Theme: Same As Black...but I ate his family!
Power Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon - and the dragons burned down the village again...where did I put my sword
Progressive Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon, so I'm going to write a 30 minute opus and describe it in detail
Thrash Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon - So lets get drunk and punch somebody
Doom Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon, but I'm so depressed I'll just sit here and cry about it
Funeral Doom Metal Theme: It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon, but I'm so depressed I'll just sit here and cry about it - very slowly and unintelligibly

You have other ones? Reply and post!!

nicely done!!

this is freakin great guys! lmmfao well put. ssH8

Melodic Death Metal = It's overcast and I think a storm is on the horizon but this is Finland/Sweeden/Norway so it's probably a snow storm.

Stoner Doom – It's overcast and I think there's a storm on the horizon, man what a bummer looks like I'm going to get wet but the colours of the clouds are amazing.

Viking Metal - It's overcast and I think there's a storm on the horizon, sharpen axes and set sail. A flagon of ale for the first kill. And no shagging the sheep.

Grindcore - It's overcast and I think there's a storm on the horizon, fuck it I was going to rip your entrails through your throat but now I think I'll just gouge your eyes out, shove a red hot poker up your arse handle first so you burn your hands when you pull it out before it rains.

Viking metal...

I laughed out loud when I read the viking metal one... no shagging the sheep! LOL

Where in hell are my definitions? :lol:

nice new additions, keep them coming :lol:

Sorry Karin, I only had a copy of the originals. We should ask the Destroyer, he probably still has the old content somewhere on a dusty hard drive... :?

Sorry, the old HMR never officially existed... oh, wait, maybe its this one that doesn't exist...

Seriously though, it's all gone folks.

Found on facebook and fits perfecly in this topic:

POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.

VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.

GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.

GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

DEATHCORE: The protagonist arrives in a tank top and brand new plugs, screams "FUCK YOU SLUT" at the princess and precedes to hardcore dance until the dragon burns him to death.

STONER METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all smoke pot and dissolve blotter tabs while proclaiming themselves as being higher than the sun.

TECHNICAL DEATH METAL: The protagonist, dragon, and princess all die of old age waiting for the new Necrophagist album to come out.

hmmm...

TECHNICAL DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon sits down with him and they both discuss their anti religious views, have an argument over which tech death band is the best, hate on deathcore and the dragon trades the princess for the protagonist´s Dying Fetus shirt.

GOTIC METAL: The Protagonist arrives, re-works the Princesses’ entire wardrobe, introduces her to some form of wierd bondage, declares his undying love for her, two times her and elopes with the Dragon